


Solace

by ssoukokuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anonymity, Break Up, M/M, Poetry, Strangers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26577925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssoukokuu/pseuds/ssoukokuu
Summary: Both troubled by heartache, Bokuto and Akaashi find solace in poetry. But will words of familiarity really be enough to heal their broken hearts?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 1





	Solace

**Author's Note:**

> [ all poems included in this story are written by myself ]  
> [ I am still unsure about the number of chapters this story will have, please be patient with me, thank you :)) ]

Bokuto tries to fight back his tears as he stares at the envelope in front of him.

“He’s really getting married” he whispers to himself as he opens the flimsy piece of paper. 

His best friend, the love of his life, Kuroo Tetsurou, is getting married. It was no surprise, of course. As one of Kuroo's closest friends, he was the first to find out about the plans of marriage. At that time he never really acknowledged how serious his friend was about Yaku. Yes, they have been together for years, but Bokuto didn't really see Kuroo as the type to get married. 

Both he and Kuroo were always together when they were in high school, even in college. Both being captains of their high school volleyball teams, they shared a lot of similar interests which made the two souls click in no time. In college, Bokuto still joined their varsity volleyball team while his friend focused on academics instead, but still, it didn't make a difference regarding their friendship. Their friendship was very easy to figure out actually. Although, the thing Bokuto didn't expect to happen is that he'd fall in love with him. At first, he was unsure, of course. He thought it was just a little crush that he could just turn a blind eye at. But as time passed by, slowly but surely, he did fall in love with him. 

He always found himself staring at Kuroo's eyes, then his lips, then back to his eyes, then his lips, and he stares just a little longer until he realizes what he's doing and looks away, all flustered. The rabid butterflies in his stomach and the heat rising to his cheeks made him realize that he is in fact in love with his best friend and that he is, undeniably, fucked.

Those feelings of love came with a multitude of problems for Bokuto.

_First of all, he's most probably straight. Second, Kuroo is hot as fuck, it's only a matter of time before someone snatches him up. Last but not the least, I don't really want to tell him how I feel. NEVER EVER. I don't think admitting my messed up feelings is worth all the trouble and heartache. No thanks._

That was how he felt then, but of course, feelings are versatile, they can change. The thought of confessing always bothered Bokuto, but his fear of being rejected and cast aside was much greater than his love for Kuroo. But when his love was enough to overcome his fears, it was too late. 

* * *

**[ six years ago ]**

Bokuto takes a sip of cold beer as he stares at the people walking past them. It was a little too cold for an August night, but he doesn't mind. 

"Kou, I have a problem. I think it's kind of serious. Please stop being stupid for a while and help me."

He raises his eyebrows at the raven-haired man in front of him and pretended to look offended. 

"Ugh, why do you bother me so much? Don't you have any friends?" he chuckles as he opens up another can. He likes it though. He likes it when Kuroo comes running to him and asking him for help or simply just wanting to hang out. It makes his heart skip a beat, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the feeling. It's all he has anyway. The short moment of bliss and the feeling of nausea caused by this weird feeling in his stomach is all he has to hold onto. He can't complain. 

"Fuck you," he pouts, lightly hitting Bokuto on the shoulder "come on~ hear me out."

"Fine, shoot."

Kuroo takes a swig out of his beer can and crushes it after as he exhales. Bokuto stares at him as he does this and suddenly feels very anxious. 

"I like someone." he blurts out which surprises Bokuto which almost made him do a spit take. Yet, quickly, he regained his composure and put a smile on his face as he proceeds to tease his friend.

"Shit, who's the unlucky person?" he snorts.

"You're such a horrible person, I'm fighting back the urge to punch you right now." 

Bokuto laughs at his remark and pats him on the back "So are y-"

"I like men. I'm gay, Kou." 

Bokuto suddenly remembers the first problem he made himself believe when he realized his feelings for his best friend.

**_First of all, he's most probably straight._ **

_But he's not, he's telling me right now that he's not. What do I say?_

"I appreciate you telling me," he smiles softly at his fragile-looking friend. He squeezes him on his shoulder as a silent affirmation that he doesn't mind and that he accepts him "if anyone bothers you about it once you decide to come out I will deck them for you" Bokuto chuckles.

_I'm gay too, Kuroo._

He wanted to say it so badly, he thought that this was the best opportunity to, but of course, fear consumes him to no end. He envies the courage his friend had to muster up in order to be able to tell someone and he thinks about whether he'll be able to tell him in the future. 

Kuroo smiles softly at Bokuto, a smile that already knew that his best friend would accept him. He wasn't nervous that Bokuto wouldn't accept him, he was nervous about saying it out loud for the first time because even to himself, he never said it before. 

"About the guy I like...." he trails on, lingering for a short while. That small pause made Bokuto's heartbeat crazy fast. Even though he's aware that it's very unlikely that it's him. 

"It's Yaku. I like Yakkun."

Bokuto's eyes widen even though he was mentally preparing himself, it came too much of a shock. 

_Yaku Morisuke, so he's the one he likes. It's not me. I never expected it to be me in the first place, it's just that a tiny part of me kind of wished it was. Ah, how pathetic._

"Oh, really?" he asks with a smile on his face. Smiling isn't hard for Bokuto, even though he doesn't feel like doing it, it was still so easy to do. 

Kuroo nods and turns to face Bokuto "What do you think I should do?"

Without hesitation Bokuto finds himself saying words he regretted the instant it rolled off his tongue. "Tell him."

* * *

**[ present ]**

"Morisuke and Tetsurou." With a heavy sigh, Bokuto reads aloud the text printed in a big cursive font on the cream-colored paper.

_I didn't know it would hurt **this** much. _

His thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of his phone which lit up and showed the words "KT". He hesitates to answer, of course. Hearing the voice of the man he loves would probably be enough to break him now. But he answers anyway, of course, he does. 

"Did you receive the invitation?" Kuroo asks, sounding giddy over the phone.

"Yep, I just saw it a few minutes ago. It looks pretty good. Yacchan helped with that right?"

"Right?! It looks amazing. Mori had to stop me from sending them all out the moment we got them!"

Bokuto chuckles softly as he listens to his very excited friend "Sounds like Yaku-san has his plate full. Don't be such a pain in the ass or you won't get married." he teases.

"Bye, asshole."

"Kuroo-"

_I'm happy for you._

"Hm?"

"Nevermind, bye." 

_Well, I want to be._

As the phonecall ends, Bokuto sighs for the nth time.

_I need a distraction._

He looks at his bookshelf adorned with numerous books, his eyes automatically focusing on his favorite poetry books by Lang Leav and Rupi Kaur. He frowns a little, feeling bored with his selection. He grabs his phone yet again and decided to scroll on twitter to see what his dumbass friends were up to. After minutes of scrolling, a short poem retweeted by an acquaintance caught his attention. 

**my fate**

_**If my fate is to love you from afar** _

_**I'll play my part** _

_**If my fate means I'll be painted blue** _

_**I'll be your art** _

_**If my fate is to lose myself** _

_**I'll let it be** _

_**Because if this fate means loving you** _

_**Nothing else matters to me** _

**-** **a.k**

After reading the poem he finds himself going to a.k's account and scrolling through the 3 tweets he has. 3 beautiful poems. 

**a star's exhaustion**

_**We burned hotter than the sun** _

_**Connected like constellations in the night sky** _

_**But I overlooked the most important part** _

_**Did you know that the bigger the star, the faster it dies?** _

**\- a.k**

**more than a million**

_**The memories play in my head** _

_**It's on a loop, it won't end** _

_**The faint scent of your cologne** _

_**Is what I've made to be my home** _

_**It's no wonder that I've lost** _

_**I gave everything at any cost** _

_**-** _ **a.k**

Bokuto taps the follow button, his eyebrows furrowed together as he read through the last poem.

_It must hurt, you must be in pain._

He drags his fingers through his hair and closes his eyes.

_I wonder a.k, I really wonder._


End file.
